In a podcast episode of lieber lieben, I had the opportunity to speak to Frauke - and this conversation moved me deeply. Frauke experienced the unimaginable in a short space of time: the loss of her husband and, shortly afterwards, a diagnosis of breast cancer. A mastectomy without reconstruction. And yet - or perhaps precisely because of this - she radiates a vitality that resonates with me for a long time.
What Frauke describes is something I know from my therapeutic work: those moments when life brings us to our knees and we believe we can no longer get up - and it is precisely there, in this absolute darkness, that the deepest potential for change often lies.
3.5 months on the brink of death - and the gift of a conscious farewell
Frauke describes the time of saying goodbye to her husband not only as a loss, but also as a gift. A full 3.5 months together, with awareness, with love. How rarely do we have this opportunity. It reminds me how important it is to stay in touch - with ourselves, with those we love - even before life forces us to do so.
Frauke also talks about how she rediscovered lust and physicality - without breasts, but not without sensitivity. She calls it „soul sex”. This is not an esoteric concept for me, but something that I observe time and again in therapy: When we stop judging our bodies and start inhabiting them, something opens up. Body image and self-love are not superficial issues - they are central to our experience of closeness and connection.
Gold in the mud
The image Frauke brings with her is: there is gold in the deepest mud. This is not a promise that pain is worth it. It's an invitation to look - instead of running away. That is the core of my work: not to manage the crisis, but to explore what it shows us about ourselves and about life.