Setting boundaries is often misunderstood as selfishness. But setting boundaries is the opposite of selfishness. It is remaining true to one's own dignity; it is self-respect.
When Aggi took a step back in the line-up, physically distancing herself from Theo, something surprising happened: Theo could finally really see her. As long as she had tried to please him, she had become invisible to him. But the moment she said, “This far and no further,” she became visible again.
"The border gives you back your dignity.”, I said to her. “And she's also giving the relationship a chance. Because a relationship without boundaries isn't a relationship – it's a merger.”
Boundaries are not the problem in relationships – they are often the solution. They create dignity, clarity and genuine encounters. Those who do not set boundaries lose themselves and the relationship.